I am learning to say no, and mean it.

You say yes when you mean no, and then you resent the yes. You keep the peace and lose a little of yourself each time. The guilt arrives before the sentence is even out, so you soften it, and swallow it, and pay the cost quietly.

Underneath is something you learned early, that your worth is in your usefulness, and that a boundary will cost you the love you have been earning by having none. It will not cost you the love that is real.

A kind no is still a no, and it is a whole sentence. The person who can say it is not colder than you. She is simply more herself, and she is closer than you think.