I am grieving, and it is not passing.
People told you it would get easier. It has been long enough now that you have quietly stopped saying otherwise. You function. You work, you answer, you carry on. And underneath it, the same weight, in the same place, on an ordinary Tuesday, for no reason at all.
You are not failing to move on. You are learning the thing almost no one is taught, how to carry a loss that is not going to leave, and go on living fully while you carry it.
We will not offer you a timeline, or a silver lining, or a reason it was meant to be. The love remains, and so do you, both at once. A life carried with that weight can still be lived, and even, in time, rewritten.
Grief sometimes asks to be understood more deeply, and Komol sits with it with rare steadiness, because she knows it from the inside. Sit with Komol. Read: The Objects We Keep After Someone Is Gone. There is no rush here. When you are ready, sit with us.